Team Work

Since getting sober my husband has been very dedicated to the gym. I’ve never been one for athleticism, but I watch my weight with counting calories the best I can because sweets are definitely my downfall in life.

In December I started lifting with him and it was really good for our relationship. I started a new job and it made it harder to meet him at the gym. However this past week he has decided to go in the morning before work.

This morning I decided to go with him, it was really nice to get back in the routine. I think he enjoys it as well and it is some thing for him and I without the kids that is positive and motivating. That used to be drinking for us and obviously that cannot be any more. Sometimes finding a place that will help us grow together there’s more difficult then it used to be when we were younger. I do feel better after going to the gym and the positivity that reflects our relationship after being at the gym it’s great to.

I think it’s important as we struggle in the sobriety as a couple and as a family to find those new ways to engage our relationship with one another. It is still tough sometimes. Sometimes the day to day is overwhelming, it seems like more for me than him, but it’s also hard for me to disengage in the battles for our souls and be selfish to myself. I want to badly to fix everything and do right by everyone especially those closest to me, where I see him be able to have no emotion towards it and focus on what he needs solely. He says it’s important for sobriety, but if I fail my children, then what will I tell God one day when he asks why I didn’t raise His children’s in His ways better. How does the balance become, how does it begin to exist with only one parent striving for the best success in all aspects for our children. The recovery from this monster of alcoholism we let creep into our lives, is just as hard as the day to day of living with an alcoholic, it feels unbearable at times….